happy couple celebrating at their wedding

8 Things not to say to a husband and wife photography team

8 Things not to say to a husband and wife photography team

Let me preface this by saying that this post is written (mostly) in jest! Inspired by several of the questions that we seem to be asked on an almost weekly basis. We thought this would be a bit of fun for other and husband and wife teams as there aren’t many H&W team specific posts floating around out there on the interwebs. #Relatable

1. Who’s the photographer then?

When there’s two of you, there’s often an assumption that one of you is the photographer and the other an assistant. Nope, sorry Mr Toastmaster, can’t chat. Two fully fledged photographers here, so I need to go and shoot.

2. Who’s the lead shooter?

Photographers who tend to work alone are used to the “lead” and “second” dynamic. For many husband and wife teams though, it doesn’t work like that. Our partnership is equal. We each lead in our own areas (more on that here). We each have our own roles and responsibilities to ensure that coverage is as diverse and efficient as possible.

3. Who’s the best photographer?

There’s not really an answer to this. It depends on your taste and preferences as a viewer of our work. Obviously there are moments where one of you may basque in the delight of having nailed a particularly awesome shot. Our partnership isn’t a solo project though and being a photographer isn’t just about taking photos. My weaknesses are (generally) his strengths and vice versa, which is why our partnership works so well for us. But hey, we can fake a little rivalry if it’ll make you smile.

4. You must have so much free time!

It’s a nice fantasy, one I dream about at some point almost every day. Usually around lunchtime! We wish! Having two shooters doesn’t quite amount to double everything, but just about. There are the obvious tasks such as having lots more photographs to import and back up, more images to cull, edit, organise and upload. Then there’s also additional time spent on things like cleaning, charging and preparing two full sets of kit. Additional time spent calibrating two full sets of lenses etc. Even things like blogging can take a little while longer with so many photos too. The knock on effect? More of everything which generally means more time spent doing everything….like the accounts.

5. Why don’t you shoot separately? You’d make SO much more money.

We know, but it’s not all about the money for us. Once you’ve worked as a seamless partnership and really got your roles and routine down to a fine art, there’s no going back. Seeing what you can shoot and achieve together, knowing what you can deliver as a team and the sheer level of coverage that you can offer makes shooting on your own undesirable to us. We’re a team in every sense of the word.

6. “Dear Sam”

We used to think it was because his name is first (our business name is Sam & Louise) but having had this discussion with several other husband and wife teams, they get this too. Correspondence addressed to only one of you. Regardless of who’s name is first and regardless of whether their business name includes their actual names or not, many husband and wife teams experience the phenomenon of correspondence only being addressed to the male in the partnership. Ah, sweet patriarchy.

Whatever the reasoning it’s definitely something to avoid unless you’re emailing an individual’s personal email account, or you’re engaged in an ongoing conversation with a particular person. It comes across as rude when it’s from someone who’s trying to sell you something or initiate a business relationship.

7. Who shot your wedding? / Who’s shooting your wedding then? (Before we got married)

If we had £1 for every time we had been asked this we’d have paid for our wedding twice over. Really, it’s lovely that people are interested but we’ve said our photographers name so many times over the last couple of years that we’re starting to wonder if they’re even real words anymore. Alex Miller, incase you were wondering.

8. What will you do when you have a baby? Will Louise give up photography? Will you use a second shooter?

Unless it’s a baby goat, the odds of a baby arriving in the Gilbert/Young household are slim to none. Please be mindful of the fact that fertility is an upsetting topic for many couples. For us, not having children is a choice we made many years ago, so we’re able to smile politely when asked such questions. Not everyone is blessed with having the choice however and we know of other husband and wife teams who are struggling with infertility, miscarriage and other pregnancy related sadness. We know such questions tend to come from a good place, but please be aware of the upset that seemingly innocent questions can cause.

H&W’s anything else you’d like to add to the “Things not to say to husband and wife photography teams” list? What do you get asked week in week out? We’d love to hear more!

Be excellent to each other